I spent the majority of this last week in Ruidoso, NM at a little retreat.  We (all the AIMers, and AIM assistants and our speaker and his family) stayed at a church camp owned by the Sunset Church of Christ in Ruidoso called Mountain View.  It was a small campsite, but set in a pocket at the foot of the mountains that offered a wonderful panoramic of young hills stretching across the horizon, like they were off on a pilgrimage, journeying along the edge of the earth with their full-grown leaders at the head. 

I love nature.  I grew up a tomboy with all of my boy cousins, always outside doing God knows what.  Naturally, the first thing I did was throw all my stuff in the cabin and walk down the wagon-wheel rutted path to the little creek at the end of the campsite.  A few of us took off our shoes and waded down it.  My feet got pretty numb, but it was water, and I was outside, and people were climbing trees and spreading out exploring the embankment while the air got chilly and the sun went down, and the general feelings of contentment and playfulness and simplicity settled over all of us.

The staff built a nice campfire for us under the gazebo that night, and we all sat in a circle together singing, praying, listening to the speaker.  This is how every night went, and the days were filled with lessons over the Sermon on the Mount from an interesting (both in physical appearance and personality) man named Mike Tanaro.  He was a great speaker.  I think my favorite part of all the lessons was his explaining the beatitudes.  Though I've read them a hundred times, I've never really taken them in.  He started off explaining that anything you read in the Bible needs to be heard the way that the people being spoken to would have heard.  Jesus' saying, "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven," etc, is Jesus speaking to people who ARE poor in spirit.  They're poverty-stricken.  He then explained that the kingdom of heaven is the rule of God within people's hearts.  For God to rule in your heart, you must first find a need for him/be poor in spirit.

But then he asked what the word "blessed" meant.  He said it had a lot of different meanings in the Greek: it referred to a "utopian" island that had everything necessary for people to sustain themselves and live a good life; it was also an oasis in the desert; and it was an exclamation of good fortune.  

So for someone to be blessed if they are "poor in spirit," "mourn," "are meek," "hunger and thirst for righteousness," "are merciful," "pure in heart," "peacemakers," "persecuted for righteousness' sake," "and are reviled and persecuted," it is an exclamation of good fortune.  It's like reaching an oasis.  It is a good thing in life.  Because each one leads to the next.  Being poor in spirit causes you to mourn, which causes you to be meek (which means subject to control), which then fills you with a hunger for righteousness, etc.  Each one teaches/prepares you for the next blessing, until you reach a perfection also known as spiritual maturity.  

For Jesus to say this to people who were poor and oppressed must have been a "blessing" as well.  Something that caused them to have hope and faith and a desire to have these things.  And as it was something that must have hit them in a powerful way, I think it's meant to do the same for us.  Because if you think about it, we are an oppressed kind of society.  Society tells us their is no immutable truth.  There is nothing solid to cling to, which (even if you're strong) has a way of working on you and separating you from God.  And then you feel lost and apathetic towards life.  You can't see meaning or you can't bring yourself to believe it's attainable, and that things like God's love are fairy-tale.  That was my experience during my senior year at ACU.  Feeling separated from God.  And so for me... this was an experience of good news.  I was... glad to know that the beginning of a relationship with God starts with feeling poor in spirit.

Anyway, they were the kind of lessons that leave you actually desiring to be mature spiritually.  To know what that would be, to be transformed and changed and to just be strong.  And it's a heady kind of feeling when complemented with conversations with so many different people, hearing about their lives and struggles and pasts and wants.  And then spending quiet time with God.  And... even just playing.  Playing games and laughing and eating.  

Lol.  Or even whittling.  (On Thursday a group of us went into town and wandered through all the little shops where I bought two knives.  Another girl and I later decided to take up whittling and managed to strip some sticks of their tree skin, which was great fun.  I think all girls should own a knife).

Anywho.  It was just a wonderful experience.  I feel rejuvenated and eager for the coming 7 months of training and getting to know my classmates better.  Excitement doesn't even really describe it.  I'm just happy.  Happy to be here and hopeful that things will only get better and that I'll get stronger, more mature.

To all of you who read this, I hope you feel blessed.  And I hope... I don't know.  I just hope a lot of things for you.  I have several different people coming to mind right now, and I'm praying for you guys.  I love you all.

I'll leave you with a verse that the preacher at Lockney told me to meditate on last Sunday:

Philippians 2:13

"My beloved, as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure."